The only things you are born with are love and reflexes, train them well.
Fifteen years.
That’s enough time for a child to grow into independence.
Enough time for mistakes to become lessons.
Enough time to realize that what we thought was strength… was often just reaction.
I can’t even remember why I wrote this years ago. I hope the lesson was learned. The more I sit with the idea, the more it feels true.
Reflexes keep us alive.
Love makes life worth living.
But here is the quiet truth: both need training.
Reflexes: The Fastest Version of Us
Reflexes are automatic.
They are the sharp words we say before thinking.
The guarded silence when we feel hurt.
The way we flinch at disappointment, because we’ve been there before.
Fifteen years ago, my reflexes were defensive. Quick to protect. Quick to assume. Quick to react.
And maybe they needed to be.
But over time, I learned that untrained reflexes can become habits, and habits can shape a life.
Training reflexes means learning to pause.
To breathe before responding.
To choose intention over instinct.
It is slow work.
But it is sacred work.
Love: The Deepest Discipline
Love feels natural — but loving well is not automatic.
Loving someone when it’s easy is instinct.
Loving someone when it’s hard is training.
There was a season in my life when forgiveness felt impossible. My reflex was distance. Silence. Withdrawal.
But love asked for something braver.
It asked me to stay present.
To listen longer.
To soften instead of harden.
And that did not happen overnight. It happened through small daily choices.
Love, like reflex, strengthens with repetition.
The more we practice patience, the more patient we become.
The more we practice kindness, the more natural it feels.
The more we practice compassion, even toward ourselves, the more it becomes our default response.
Fifteen Years Later
Looking back, I don’t measure growth in achievements.
I measure it in pauses.
In calmer responses.
In moments when love arrived faster than fear.
That is what training truly means: reshaping what arrives first.
A Gentle Reflection for You
If love and reflexes are the only things we’re born with…
- What have your reflexes learned over the years?
- Do they protect you or limit you?
- Is love your first response… or your last?
And if you train one thing more intentionally this year, what would it be?
Take a moment. Sit with it.
Fifteen years from now, you will look back and see that the smallest daily choices were shaping everything.
If this resonated with you, share your thoughts below.
What has time taught you about love? 💛
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